Want to marry the right guy? Feeling like you’re behind schedule?
We are working Christian women. Women of action! As such, we like plans, goals, and tasks to complete. That’s why it can be hard to really trust in God’s timing when it comes to love. God doesn’t operate according to our checklists (no, not even the color-coded ones). And when we focus too much on making our lives fit some master plan, we’re really putting trust in ourselves instead of God.
When I was in my 20s, I didn’t get this at all. I had certain expectations for my life. Those expectations included marriage “on time” to “the one.” So when, at the right age, I met a guy who seemed to fit my criteria, I married him. I didn’t marry him right away (in fact, we had a few years of dating and engagement), but as soon as I realized I had chemistry with this guy who checked all the right boxes, I decided that he was the one.
From then on, my mind was pretty much made up. I was so focused on fulfilling those expectations of mine that I ignored warning signs. I failed to ask critical questions (of myself and him). Eleven years and two kids later, it all fell apart.
Even after all this time, I hate saying that. Even happily remarried for twelve years, and confident that God used my mistakes for so much good, I still hate it.
If I could give you the perfect plan to avoid it, I would! But I can’t.
I can tell you not to worry so much about timetables and expectations you or anyone else (mom included) have for your life. God’s timing is so perfect and so wonderful. He made you. He knows you. And He’s on top of this.
My friend Joy Eggerichs with LoveandRespectNOW.com blogs (and vlogs, and tweets, and Facebook posts) about relationship building (check it out – there’s some great stuff!). Joy says instead of a focus on finding “The One,” Christians should focus on being the one.
It’s great advice, whether you’re single, dating, engaged, or married. Focus on becoming the one that God has planned for you to be. The more you pursue His guidance on building your own faith, and learn how to use your God-given gifts in your relationships with colleagues, girl and guy friends, and family – the more you’ll offer to a future spouse. You’ll be maturing as a friend, sister, employee, boss. You’ll become more sensitive to His promptings, better able to discern His timing.
God has a perfect plan for you. The world, your church, and maybe even your friends and family may tell you that you’re not “on schedule,” but God’s timetable is flawless. Put your trust in His divine timing. Know that if you pursue His will first, you can’t mess up His plan.